The Personal Reality Gap (or PRG) is the gap that exists between who I really am and who I am perceived to be and portrayed to be to others. As an aside, I don't really know if this term actually exists, but, if it doesn't, you heard it here first! ;-) Anyway, this is a gap that has been a great deal of frustration for me recently. Here's why.
I have always strived to be a very authentic person to everyone. Who you see me to be is who I am. Who I tell you I am is who I am. Over the years I have done this quite well since most people who know me really know me. However, I have recently become aware of a gap in this reality. It's not that I am hiding who I am. Rather, it is that I have changed in a way that who I am becoming is not always who I am showing the world and that scares me. It scares me from a view point that I am all-of-a-sudden not as authentic as I once was. Quite the quandary!
Now, no one can actually really know someone as well as they know themselves. I have been married for over 9 years and have been with my wife for over 12 years. As we grow together, I will know her better than anyone else on this earth, BUT I can never know her every thought, emotion, desire... I am not her. Likewise, she will never know all of me. Not that I won't let her into every area of my life, but unless she is me... you get the picture.
I had a friend of mine send me a tweet a few weeks ago asking me why I have been so existentialistic recently- i.e. questioning the existence of who I am (a tweet is Twitter speak. If you don't know what Twitter is...). She lives almost 1,000 miles from me and I told her that she was very perceptive. She described me as "part enlightenment and part puzzle." I laughed. She is SO right! God has gotten a hold of me in such a way that He is constantly revealing Himself to me through the Spirit and person of Jesus according to scripture which has led me to question who I am and why I am not more like Jesus in EVERY area of my life. So this is true! I am part enlightenment and part puzzle. Through walking on this journey with Jesus, He is constantly teaching me who I am in Him (enlightenment) and who I am going to be in Him (puzzle).
Now, this brings me to the point of my dilemma as I just stated... why am I not more like Jesus in EVERY area of my life? God has created me to be a uniquely creative, gifted individual that is unlike any other person before me and unlike any one else after me. I am created to live as an integral part of His community connected to the other people that He loves. (This, by the way, is everyone, everywhere. Yes, everyone means everyone. More on that in another post). As I have been growing in knowledge of Him through more intentional connectedness with Him, I have begun to realize that my life is full of revealing to others glimpses of who I am and not who I really am all the time. I share parts of who I am with everyone but not the whole thing. That is my PRG. I don't know if it is because I fear social persecution, rejection or what, but I know that it needs to be remedied!
So, the question remains... now what? This is difficult to answer since the answer lies within more questions. How do I respond? What can I do about it? How much do I reveal and to whom? I mean, have you ever met someone that just sits there telling you everything about themselves within the first 30 minutes of meeting them and you just want to run away in hopes that you never have to talk to them again? I am not condoning that response, of course, but I think we have all met that person at one time in our lives, right? Well, if not, there's a good chance that you will.
So, I have committed this to prayer. Meaning that when I ponder this PRG, I am asking that God through His Spirit will help me be able to be authentically engaged with anyone and everyone that I meet so that they too can get to know "the real me." This does mean that I will suffer rejection, social persecution and ridicule but this may also lead to something greater. Jesus called those who suffer like this on His behalf, blessed.
May you be blessed by being rejected by others for His sake so that they too may see "the real you" and that "the real you" may be a reflection of Jesus.
I have always strived to be a very authentic person to everyone. Who you see me to be is who I am. Who I tell you I am is who I am. Over the years I have done this quite well since most people who know me really know me. However, I have recently become aware of a gap in this reality. It's not that I am hiding who I am. Rather, it is that I have changed in a way that who I am becoming is not always who I am showing the world and that scares me. It scares me from a view point that I am all-of-a-sudden not as authentic as I once was. Quite the quandary!
Now, no one can actually really know someone as well as they know themselves. I have been married for over 9 years and have been with my wife for over 12 years. As we grow together, I will know her better than anyone else on this earth, BUT I can never know her every thought, emotion, desire... I am not her. Likewise, she will never know all of me. Not that I won't let her into every area of my life, but unless she is me... you get the picture.
I had a friend of mine send me a tweet a few weeks ago asking me why I have been so existentialistic recently- i.e. questioning the existence of who I am (a tweet is Twitter speak. If you don't know what Twitter is...). She lives almost 1,000 miles from me and I told her that she was very perceptive. She described me as "part enlightenment and part puzzle." I laughed. She is SO right! God has gotten a hold of me in such a way that He is constantly revealing Himself to me through the Spirit and person of Jesus according to scripture which has led me to question who I am and why I am not more like Jesus in EVERY area of my life. So this is true! I am part enlightenment and part puzzle. Through walking on this journey with Jesus, He is constantly teaching me who I am in Him (enlightenment) and who I am going to be in Him (puzzle).
Now, this brings me to the point of my dilemma as I just stated... why am I not more like Jesus in EVERY area of my life? God has created me to be a uniquely creative, gifted individual that is unlike any other person before me and unlike any one else after me. I am created to live as an integral part of His community connected to the other people that He loves. (This, by the way, is everyone, everywhere. Yes, everyone means everyone. More on that in another post). As I have been growing in knowledge of Him through more intentional connectedness with Him, I have begun to realize that my life is full of revealing to others glimpses of who I am and not who I really am all the time. I share parts of who I am with everyone but not the whole thing. That is my PRG. I don't know if it is because I fear social persecution, rejection or what, but I know that it needs to be remedied!
So, the question remains... now what? This is difficult to answer since the answer lies within more questions. How do I respond? What can I do about it? How much do I reveal and to whom? I mean, have you ever met someone that just sits there telling you everything about themselves within the first 30 minutes of meeting them and you just want to run away in hopes that you never have to talk to them again? I am not condoning that response, of course, but I think we have all met that person at one time in our lives, right? Well, if not, there's a good chance that you will.
So, I have committed this to prayer. Meaning that when I ponder this PRG, I am asking that God through His Spirit will help me be able to be authentically engaged with anyone and everyone that I meet so that they too can get to know "the real me." This does mean that I will suffer rejection, social persecution and ridicule but this may also lead to something greater. Jesus called those who suffer like this on His behalf, blessed.
May you be blessed by being rejected by others for His sake so that they too may see "the real you" and that "the real you" may be a reflection of Jesus.
|
composed by
dave
|
