2012 was a great year and a tough year. While it remains a year of significant personal and spiritual growth for me, this was not without its challenges, trials and triumphs.

Each year I ask God to give me a word that will define the year ahead. In 2009, I received the word 'equilibrium' for 2010. In 2010, I received the word 'restore' for 2011. And in 2011, I received the word 'rise' for 2012... which turned out to be the hardest of the three.

I originally thought that since I had experienced restoration in 2011, that 'rise' would be more akin to a triumphant general returning home rising to new accolades of accomplishment much like Luke or Han at the end of A New Hope. Little did I know that 'rise' would be an indicator of what I would be challenged to do day-after-day, month-after-month.

My experience was more similar to Maximus in Gladiator constantly reclaiming his rightful title or Nathan Algren from The Last Samurai in this scene (which, by the way, has one of the BEST scores in my opinion)...


Each time I fell-- every time I was beat down, put in my place, made to play smaller-- I would rise. As a result, God used this time of refinement to solidify in my soul what is most true of me: my identity in Christ as firewolf.

Who is firewolf, you ask? I am. To know me today is to know firewolf. We are one in the same.

It hasn't always been this way.

Previously, firewolf was an identity that I put on like a new coat hoping that the Tailor was right and true in His craftsmanship. It was like that of a cafe that I visited when I really needed a pick-me-up ordering a new drink that I was told would give me the Elixir of Life.

I had a relationship with firewolf not ownership.

Through the countless beat downs and adversity, I learned who I really was. I learned that to truly live I must honor my values-- those environments and filters that make my heart come fully alive. I learned that my mission in life MUST be at the forefront of any endeavor I commit to doing. I learned that aspects of who I am and how I show up either increase or decrease the freedom available to others when in my presence. I learned that Spiritual agreements-- those things I have either knowingly or unknowingly bound and loosed in my soul-- have the power to expand or restrict the strength of my identity in Christ. I learned that I need daily intimacy with my Father and that this must preclude all activities for my day. I learned to hear the call of The Wild Goose and chase the Wind of the Spirit wherever He may lead.

Today, I'm more whole than in was a year ago. I'm more fully integrated. I'm more of who God originally intended me to be.

And while this all sounds awesome, it doesn't come without sacrifice. There are some who oppose firewolf and chafe at the freedom I now experience as one of the courageous, renegade, free. There are some who want me to play smaller. There are some who want me to show up safer.

But you cannot domesticate a wolf. Not everyone seeks the adventure of the wild. My heart was made to wander.

In retrospect, 'rise' in 2012 was less Set It Off by P.O.D. (Like I originally thought and posted about HERE) and more Rise by Eddie Vedder...

Such is the way of the world
You can never know
Just where to put all your faith
And how will it grow
Gonna rise up
Burning back holes in dark memories
Gonna rise up
Turning mistakes into gold
Such is the passage of time
Too fast to fold
And suddenly swallowed by signs
Low and behold
Gonna rise up
Find my direction magnetically
Gonna rise up
Throw down my ace in the hole

In 2013, God has given me yet another word to be unfolded over the course of the next 12 months-- thrive. I have found that this year I'm more curious about this word than I've ever been about the other words previously. I'm inquiring of God and myself: what is it to thrive? What must I do? Who must I be?

A year of intrigue and adventure await!
10 ways to recover the masculine soul
your heart is free
paradigm shift
opinions
lest we remain unused

What word will define 2013 for you? In what way do you partner with God for the year ahead? I'd also love to know, which posts from 2012 impacted you the most?

For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.
~ Nelson Mandela

In it's simplest form, when Jesus said, "Follow me," it wasn't just a physical reality but a holistic invitation to more.  And we hear this repeated throughout His life every time He teaches about the Kingdom of God.  There is an inherent subtext that calls us forth to not only "do" what He did but "be" who He is.

In this sense, we are not only to be influenced by Jesus and His teachings but also called emulate His actions.  But be warned, this is not a mere moral decision or self-help philosophy, this is a call to die; to die to our own agenda and chase after the wild and whimsical Spirit of Jesus.

But why?  What is His angle?  What motivation would Jesus have to make such a request?  Who does He think He is?

Jesus is a King and He expects... nay, mandates, our undivided devotion.  Jesus doesn't just want part of us.  He wants all of us.  In fact, it's worse than that.  He wants us to be free.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1, NIV

Freedom.

I hear that word-- freedom-- and images of battle usually come to mind.  Sometimes it's Braveheart and other times it's Gladiator while other times it's the Lord of The Rings or Star Wars.  The stark reality that freedom always comes with a price quickly invades my heart and then it becomes clear what drives Christ's disposition toward complete and total loyalty... He fought for our freedom-- my freedom-- with his own blood and tears.

What a gift!
He gets my rebellion, brokenness, and self-absorbed narcissism.  
I get His harmony with God, wholeness in Him, and altruism toward others.  
Such unmerited favor!  
Such mercy and grace.

This truth is one that is so profound, so transformational that I must remind my heart daily of the reality that I now live in-- the aftermath of the cross.  The daily grind of existing leads my heart astray from the abundance and fullness of freedom that Jesus offers me: to live, fully alive.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.  John 16:33, NIV

Oh that our generation, my peers, would awaken from their slumber!  That they would declare  "Enough!" and allow Jesus to loose the chains that bind their hearts and minds.  That they would choose to be known as Sons of God rather than slaves to a god of their own design.

The freedom that awaits them...
The abundance that is already theirs...
My soul cries out, "Your heart free! Have the courage to follow it."

For my last post, I invited Michelle Brown to guest post on CoveredInDust because of a Facebook conversation that I felt needed a broader audience to begin a conversation of reconciliation.

This post is a response to my post, Church-Time Barbie.

We're broken-- you, me, all of us.

No, not in the "we need to be fixed" kinda way. It's more like we've all been wounded, hurt, discouraged, let down, and mistreated. And people who have experienced this tend to reciprocate this brokenness towards others. We unknowingly collude with one another exchanging hurt with more hurt, pain with more pain, and wounds with more wounds. It's an epidemic.

Sadly, the same is true in church world. Yes, Christians have been rescued from the muck and mire of our rebellion against God and redeemed to live a new life. This is true. Remorsefully though, most Christians don't even know what to do with the freedom we've been granted or just how truly abundant our freedom is. So we settle for what we've known. We have a hard time seeing what could be and settle for what is. Old patterns emerge. Previous desires become dominant again. The cycle continues.

We become stuck. In this sense, we're all broken... even Christians.

But there's something plastic and hollow about how we try to remedy this brokenness and Michelle pointed to it in her confession. We try to make the exterior presentation of ourselves look good while neglecting the interior life.

And it makes sense, doesn't it?! Dealing with our own junk is hard work! It's easier for us to assume control once we are rescued from the filth of our former lives than it is to allow God through His now indwelling Spirit to continue to remake us.

And it's a scary prospect to look back into that dark Shadow of our false self to see what we wish weren't true. The darkness of who we were is true but not truest. Who Jesus says we are is now the real and our most authentic self and that is the core truth that we must cling to.

The men and women who are truly filled with light are those who have gazed deeply into the darkness of their own imperfect existence. -Brennan Manning, The Furious Longing of God

It's easy to become Church-Time Ken! You know, the guy that says all the right things at exactly the right time, knows all the right people; dresses for success... all the time; only uses approved "Christian" swear words like dang it, geeze, and gosh; and always has a smile on his face. He always serves on a Saturday; watches football on a Sunday (after going to church, of course); leads a Bible study during the week; and always has a "word from the Lord" for every situation. In fact, his knowledge of the Bible is second to none because when he's asked what book is his favorite... it's always the Bible.

Yeah, I'm not hating on guys here. I'm confessing! That used to be me... and, at times, still is. In some ways, I've contributed to the mess that Michelle pointed to when she wrote about Church-Time Barbie.

You see, I grew up churched.

There were a lot of do's and don'ts that I "had" to adhere to if I was going to impress a good, Christian girl which, of course, was what I was supposed to do. I could court (not date, that's evil of course) anyone from any socio-economic background, ethnicity, hair color, build, stature, heritage... as long as they were a Christian. And I get that. I don't disagree. But, remember, I was churched. So the girls wore modest clothing, acted proper, always studied the Bible, consulted Scripture before making a decision on whether we should get more intimate... yadda, yadda, yadda.

How do I get the attention of a girl like that? Would everything become a theological dissertation of Scriptural "rightness"? Do I even want a girl like that? Fortunately for me, I had a Biblical first name. That helps, or so I hear. I'm kidding. What had me even question whether I even wanted to pursue Church-Time Barbie was the perspective of what a future might look like with some one of her caliber.

From my view, the starched life of etiquette and poise would have me fine pressed and pleated that not a wrinkle of my personality and wild heart would be allowed in our relationship. This idea made my chest cave in and the air escape from my lungs.

Put on the happy face. Volunteer often. Set aside my dreams for what's practical. Become some thing I'm not.

Ken, they wanted Ken! Not me.

And that was the problem: the girls I knew were so interested in doing what's right they forgot how to do what's real. In my experience of them, they abandoned their own hearts for living right instead of living rightly. They didn't discern for themselves. They could only regurgitate some rhetoric that their pastor said or some "I kissed dating goodbye" hotty gave them.

If my history with women taught me one thing it's this: good, Christian girls weren't interested in a guy who frakked up every now, who sought a life of adventure and intrigue and who loved Star Trek as much as his mom.

I tried to date them. One broke my heart on Valentines Day by giving me a "Dear Johnny" letter. Another just let our relationship fade into nothingness. Who knows, we may still be dating?! Another swore her undying love to me, dreamt of the day we would be married, then dumped me leaving my heart wounded and untrusting. So much for "forever".

The last one really pulled it all together. We became great friends which naturally morphed into a mutual affection toward one another. She was fun, popular and beautiful-- the perfect Church-Time Barbie! Knowing the fragility of my heart, she navigated the sea of my soul whimsically enrapturing me with her feminine guile. She loved me. I thought. She dreamt too of a day when we would be married. She spoke my language-- Klingon. It was perfect.

Then, one more glorious Valentines Day, this good, Christian woman dumped me. Why? I never found out. She let our friendship and companionship fade into oblivion... with my crushed heart in the wake of her escapades.

If she's somehow reading this now, I'm not angry anymore. I got over our relationship 15 years ago. But please, no matter how petty it may seem, would you let me know what happened?

So, I gave up on them. I dated a Catholic. Oh, didn't I mention that I was a protestant and that dating a Catholic was like rejecting your faith? Convinced that history would repeat itself, I was timid with this new girl, guarded. I hated her. I loved her. I courted her. I dated her. We were friends. We were enemies. Eventually, she became my wife. And, eventually, she became a Christ-follower. And, she's a wild one. She's untamed and passionate. She reminds me of what I read in scripture when I hear about the Holy Spirit.

But she was never a Church-Time Barbie. She had junk, lots of it. And most of it undealt with until after she became a Christ-follower 9 years ago. That's when life got more... colorful.

You see, trying to be a Church-Time Ken only granted me access to Church-Time Barbie. Meanwhile, on the fringes of "perfect and polished", there existed a sea of feminine Beauties looking for their brave masculine match.

The question I still wrestle with that I believe most men wonder is this: am I man enough to be her man. The woman who gazes deeply into the darkness of her own imperfect existence is worthy of a man who has done the same. A man who has embraced the Shadow of his false, poser self and has made peace with his demons. Know this, that doesn't eradicate them from his life. He is fallible. Oh, and he will fail, brilliantly! But he is honest about his shortcomings and remains true to his design.  Not hollow. Not a shell of a man. And that's what I had become as Church-Time Ken.

And that's really it, isn't it?! This whole conversation about Church-Time whomever. It's about the poser us versus the real us. It's about where we direct our affections. To put it in more religious terms, it's about our worship.

Worship is our response to that which we value most.

For me, it was about intimacy. That's what I truly wanted. But intimacy isn't code for sex. Intimacy for me is to be seen and accepted for my Glory and Shadow. Just as I am. No pretense. No posing.

But that's not what I found. Furthermore, I thought a woman could grant that to me.
What I found was religiosity. Religiosity says that I need to get cleaned up, put together, polished, shaved, coiffed, plucked, & buffed. Be who you want just don't mess up... or at least keep it quiet and hide it well, suppress it.

Even in church world we still fear rejection and the need to put on a front; to desire what we know is not inline with what is deeply true of us. So we chase the wrong guy/gal, we hang with the wrong friends. We desperately want to be accepted and loved as we are and for who we are.


As Brennan Manning put it in Abba's Child:

In futile attempts to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift. If we conceal our wounds out of fear or shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others.

We crave community where we can be seen and accepted just as we are. Then, to be loved and romanced with intimacy for who we are. But to do this, we must reject the notion of continuing to live in the Matrix of pre-programmed relationships and begin to interact with one another differently.

This will take time.


And it is possible.




If you desire to deepen in your journey as a woman toward the beauty of your design, check out The Destiny Project.

If you seek to boldly set forth on an adventure as a man toward the hero you were created to be, check out The BraveHeart Intensive.

This week I have the privilege of introducing another guest poster to coveredindust: Michelle Brown!  I've known Michelle online for about 5 years and offline for about 3 years.  Where did we first meet? Right here!  Michelle is a long-time regular at coveredindust and very much a woman of great integrity.  Her wisdom and discernment are tried and true as is her taste in SciFi (seriously, Battlestar Galactica is one of the BEST shows to have ever graced the small screen).

A week or so ago, I tweeted the following: "This is what models really look like: http://t.co/dS6600NC" with a link leading to a severely anorexic model with the "perfect face" but very much physically unhealthy.  This led to a very engaging conversation about men and women and the standard that Christian men consider "acceptable" for women.  Our dialog went deep and it was real, VERY real.

I asked Michelle to gather her thoughts and her experiences as they pertain to Christian men, and Christian men in leadership.  Her insight was challenging for me but a very needed perspective into how we as men interact with our female counterparts in life and leadership.

So to you men: listen now with open, unattached curiosity saturated with grace and mercy.
And to you women: listen with empathy and encouragement.

Michelle, the stage is yours...

(EDIT: at the author's request, the following content has been updated)

I am a 46-year old woman who has been a Christian since her early 20's, who spent 20 plus years working in the glittering sphere of media ministry, and who is the eternal sister. I would consider being a sister to be a blessing - someone who is dearly loved and enjoyed - except that I have observed how men are with their "sisters in Christ."  Too often sisters are treated as disposable. Interchangeable. An after-thought. Certainly not valued or protected or cared for. Their presence isn't sought, unless they show that they can be useful, like a good servant of Christ. Only then are sisters handy to know and have around. Otherwise, if a Christian woman doesn't look like a nice church girl version of a model, or actress, or porn star (yes, I did say it!) then she's not really worth knowing. Her heart, who she is on the inside, who God made her to be, isn't valued much. There's nothing precious about an average woman. And men don't date their sisters. 


Being a leader in the church doesn't diminish the way women are devalued.  Actually, it can create a greater opportunity for the single male to meet single women and perpetuate the problem.  A man being a leader in the church can make him seem more attractive.  But leadership does not equal maturity.  

Perhaps that's why Paul, in 1 Timothy 3, describes leaders in the church as married men. A married man has had to learn to do life unselfishly and courageously with a person who is, at the core, very other from him - a woman. If a man fails here, there are ripples that impact other lives in other spheres. Of course, many times that failure happens before the marriage even gets started.  That failure is founded when a man is single, when he can be as selfish and shallow as he wants. 

I believe all of the above because I have watched it play out in the different communities of which I've been a part over the years. I've been on the receiving end of men's callous behavior, and I've watched other women experience it, too.  I've heard their stories. I'm not the person people invite to go play, I'm the one who is the listening ear whenever there's heartache.  

I'm the one who has watched the party girls - those women who have invested incredible amounts of time, energy and resources into becoming the most sexually appealing they possibly can - bounce from man to man to man to man. These are women who use their bodies and words and ways to entice and entrap. And men love it! Their very own good-time church Barbie dolls. Women become that because that's what men want. If a woman doesn't have what it takes to become Church-Time Barbie then a woman is simply not good enough because she is too average. 

An average woman doesn't stand a chance. Most women know that. She particularly doesn't stand a chance with the good-looking, popular, athletic guys. That kind of man would never pursue an average woman who wrestles with her weight, has skin problems and a muffin top, and can be socially awkward. They'll be the "brother" of the average woman and tell her, "Really, there is someone out there for you." If you think about it, that's tantamount to saying, "You're not good enough for me but there is some poor schlub out there who you are good enough for." But those poor schlubs chase after Church-Time Barbie, too. 

Let me tell you boys something about Church-Time Barbie -- you won't be able to make her happy. She's not able to be emotionally available to you. But she will bask in the attention you give her. She will purr out her pre-programmed and well-practiced sweetness, designed to make you feel good. She will entice. She will seduce. You will give chase, then get hooked, then heartbroken. Because she's looking for more than a mere mortal man. She feels entitled to something more. A real, human man won't make her happy because she's looking for Church-Time Ken.  

This is the way the world operates. This is the way the world thinks. The church is no better.  
  
The way that Christian men devalue women is rather symptomatic of how church leaders treat the Body of Christ at large. Whether it be an attitude that says that sin is no big deal so the church can defile herself as she pleases, or an attitude that turns the church into a workhorse who is worn thin by her labor, neither perspective sees the Bride of Christ as a beautiful being to be honored, cherished, nurtured and protected. Both completely miss the heart of God.  

Do you think God is okay with the way men devalue women? Is He okay with how women devalue themselves because they want men's attention? Women especially were created for relationship and to need attention. Eve was created for Adam, so his loneliness could be eased and so they, together, could represent God's image in creation. The fall messed things up, but Christ is supposed to redeem us from the fall. Belonging to Him and following Him is supposed to make a difference. It doesn't seem to, though.

I have a really, really hard time believing much of what Christianity is supposed to be about because I have watched how Christian men are. It makes it so difficult to believe that God is good, that He loves His daughters, when it seems He is so very okay with how the men are toward their sisters in Christ. I left community and stopped going to church because of a man. I have struggled to keep from walking away from God because of Christian men.   

Every time a Christian man, especially a leader in the church, behaves in a way that devalues a woman it's like being back in the Garden all over again. Adam steps aside and lets Satan have his way with Eve, and all of Creation is subject to death and destruction as a result.  

To the men who have read this and are angered or offended by what I've written, who protest that I'm just hurt and my perspective is skewed:  Prove. Me. Wrong. 

And while you're doing that, I think you'll see that an average woman will appreciate your attention in a way that Church-Time Barbie cannot. She will respond in ways, and love you in ways, that Church-Time Barbie cannot. Because while Church-Time Barbie has been investing her energies into becoming the perfect specimen of arm and eye candy so she can hook Church-Time Ken, the average woman - that sister in Christ you so easily dismiss  - has been learning to love God and try to see humans through His eyes. She has been working through her own damaged humanity, bravely plumbing the depths of her brokenness, so she can love others well and be a good gift to them. Her flaws, her imperfections, are what drive her to the foot of the Cross.  

So while you're considering my challenge, consider this question, too:  With whom would you rather do life and grow old?

Original image by Johnny Kruger: http://500px.com/photo/6152156

I am firewolf.  
This is my identity.  
A lot of who I am can be understood by observing wolves.

While there are many aspects of wolves that I could draw upon for the content of this conversation--  their tribal tendency and territorial nature, just to name a few-- I'm going to focus on their inherent authority.

I've been made aware of a trend over the past decade or so that people LOVE my strength-- resourcefulness, provision, and protection-- but not my authority.  When I'm in a pack of humans, I naturally take charge with or without formal agreements... and this can be very disruptive.  

Notice something: I said naturally.  

Before jumping to narcissistic conclusions, consider for a moment that most of us are relatively unaware of how we show up in our own lives.  Perspective on our own personality and heart is difficult to see on our own which is why we need to have a community of others surrounding us.  Most of what I'm about to share has been the result of others speaking into me and seeing me, really seeing me.

When I show up, I don't need to assert myself nor does it take effort on my part to take the lead.  I don't need to jockey for position nor do I feel it necessary to play games.  When I'm standing in the strength of who I am, I lead.  And I don't lead from the sidelines or periphery, I lead from the front.

I'm an Alpha though I don't need to proclaim it to be so; it's simply how I show up.  Like the sun in the sky, I shine best when I'm out front.  And this aspect of who I am either repels or attracts others to my leadership and leaves little room for middle ground.

I've been told by a mentor and friend that this posture toward me is a lot like how people responded to Jesus.  Jesus didn't leave room for fence-sitters.  He is the King.  His presence carries authority.  I, too, am a king under his Kingship and rule.  I have a domain and territory given to me by Him to steward and so I show up as a king, as an Alpha wolf among my pack.

This makes me dangerous.  Just like in Narnia, Mr. Beaver could say of me, "Of course he isn't safe... but... he's GOOD."  My heart of intent in all circumstances is always to "set hearts free."  This is the context of my leadership, the underpinnings of my authority: to set hearts free. 

It frustrates me to no end when for the sake of freedom I take the lead only to be boxed up or compressed into a smaller role.  In that place, I will bite when I'm backed into a corner.  I will fight because my territory is in jeopardy.  Freedom is at stake and I refuse to back down, to play small because it's safer.

Remember, I'm an Alpha.  I'm a wolf.  I cannot be tamed or domesticated.  I am meant to roam the wilderness lands with my pack.  Yes, my provocative howl strikes fear into the hearts of the timid, the posers, the wannabes... but it is for their unleashing and advancement that I am fierce yet tender.

I am firewolf.
I am dangerous.
I am free.

Image credit: http://lifehacker.com/5831343/everyone-is-a-genius

I love the caption in this image: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

I've been fortunate enough in life to be in the company of many great artists, orators, strategists, intellectuals, administrators, empathizers, and leaders. They wield their gifts with skill and craftsmanship like a tool in the hands of a Master.

They are inspiring to behold.

Like an eagle made for the sky or a dolphin made for the sea, people living free from their design is awesome and wonderful. What belabors me though is not in the experiencing them alive in their environment but how so many Christians deny the genius of their design. Or rather, owning the genius-- the God-given talents-- of their design.

Have you ever complimented a musician after an exceptional worship experience only to have them dismiss it like this, "Oh, it wasn't me, it was God. He did all the work."

This sounds very nice and spiritual but it leaves me wondering, "Really, so who then was playing the guitar up there? Who sang those lyrics with a mixture of reverence and passion?" Sure, God gave you the gift but you were present, active, and engaged in not only skillfully wielding it but honing it.

Erwin McManus recently put it like this, "We abdicate responsibility when we blame God with all the credit. 'No, it was you, and the Lord is really, really pleased with you.' Our language intended to uphold the sovereignty of God has actually diminished the will of man."

Why is it that as Followers of Jesus we can't seem to grasp that God designed us for a purpose and reason... and that we're okay with that? We have a genius that we bring to the world and that was by HIS design. Of course God bestowed that gifting upon you! Now, go do it better than anyone else. Work hard to hone your crafting. Then, when someone compliments you, simply thank them with genuine gratitude.

Denying or refusing to acknowledge our genius or not developing it is arrogant and deprives the world of the gift of our design, our uniqueness, our art. This world needs our imagination and ingenuity.

As Erwin McManus put it, "God gave Adam and Eve ownership and responsibility. He didn’t say: 'Don’t do anything until I come back!'"

Next time you're in conversation with someone, have an internal dialog with them and ask, "What is powerfully unique and true of you?" Get curious about what makes them come alive. Then, call it forth. Unearth the gold of this naturally creative person and admire it. Show them why they matter and name it.

We need more people like you with the audacity to call forth the genius you see and experience in others and yourself.


The Erwin McManus quotes reproduced here can be found at Eric Bryant's blog: http://bit.ly/OzXVqZ

Picture taken by coveredindust :: Breckenridge, CO

I hear Him best when we're together in the wild.  

The serenity of nature calms my soul and I experience a "letting go"-- call it surrender-- of the noise of life and there, in that place of stillness, Jesus speaks to me.  Not audibly.  It's more like a knowing; as if His words and feelings are implanted into my own consciousness and heart.  

There is a "one-ness" I experience with Jesus at times like this that seems fragile, weighty, substantial; as if the wind of His presence blows through the thin veil of this reality and touches my core essence.  My heart beats in rhythm with His.  His breath fills my lungs.

Moments like this have always been few and far between.  In my experience, they've been times of grandeur and revelation characterized by epiphanies and surges of spiritual awakening.  I have lived for these "mountain top" moments desiring them like a junky yearning for his next fix or an addict thirsting for his next quench.  I wanted the hilltops without the valleys, the highs without the lows.  My goal, though I would have never actually said it this way, was to shorten the distance between crest and canyon.

I wanted the kingdom and the King but didn't want battle necessary to be in the presence of the King.  I long for the day when His presence will be all encompassing, saturating.

Eventually, I had to come down the mountain.  I had to accept that closeness and intimacy like this was only available to me in silence and solitude away from my daily routine.  Which to me, meant plugging back into the Matrix of reality mourning for another time when the busyness and hustle and everyday battle would subside and I could re-join the Lover of my Soul in the wild places.  "Normal" life would only grant me glimpses of the glory of resting with Jesus in the closeness that my soul needed to be refreshed.

Then, during a literal mountain retreat (10,000 ft in the mountains of CO), He altered the rules of engagement.  Jesus decided that it was time for me to change how He and I interacted; to bestow upon me a greater capacity.  He decided that during what would normally be grandiose moments for me-- to rest in His permeating presence-- that He would simply be with me like a constant drip of refreshment rather than flood.  The only phrases that can point toward my experience are mundane holiness and everyday sanctity.  

Yet, I still had to come down the mountain.  This time, it was different.  Yes, the normalcy of obligations and duties were just as present and demanding as before.  I wish I could confess to you that it was somehow better now and that life has taken on a whole new meaning... but that's not true for me.  

There is a new found awareness and level of trust that has seemed to grow.  It is now a greater capacity to see Jesus in the mundane, in the ordinary.  It's a lot like wearing blinders only to have them removed and realize that there is such a thing as peripheral.  It's like listening to music in mid-tone mono only to plug into a receiver and realize that there's such a thing as 7.1 stereo surround with treble, midrange and bass tones.  Life seems wider yet close, bigger yet intimate.

That week when I came down the mountain, I became aware that Jesus came down with me and offers me solace in the storm, calm in the calamity.  He is with me here, now.

1) Show us your heroic heart. We know you want to save what is worth saving and to rescue this planet from peril. Wage a hero’s battle against poverty, needless strife, environmental ruin or whatever stirs your courageous heart. It might be a plan to increase your neighborhood safety, to improve your child’s education, to plant a vegetable garden in your backyard or to stop prejudice wherever you see it. The world needs your brave heart to take bold action.

2) Unsheathe your sword. As a man, you wield a sword of truth that can cut through cultural distractions to what really matters. The faster car, the better sports team, the bigger salary are all fine and dandy but on your deathbed, what unfulfilled vision will you regret the most? What risk did you back away from? What chance did you refuse to take? Before you die, be bold enough to discover and live your truth.

3) Dare to dream. Before you played the role of mortal, you (well, we) created the heavens and earth. What do you wish to create here and now? What beautiful order do you wish to bring forth from the chaos of this world. What implausible dream do you want to manifest for the greater good of all? It doesn’t have to be grand, like solving world hunger. It can be simple, like solving your child’s homework problem because you are dedicated to being a great father. All we care about is that something brings you alive with passion.

4) Steer the ship. Aim your life for a noble horizon. It’s not like there’s a second in command who will captain your destiny while you snooze on the sofa after too many beers and potato chips with the TV droning in the background. Get to the helm of your life and navigate by your own pole star, the true north of your heart’s burning desire. Tip: if you don’t know what port you’re headed for, no wind is favorable.

5) Bring your soul to work. Work for more than the mortgage and car payments—work because you find some measure of joy in your job. And if the job is just to make ends meet for now, then meet that employment with gratitude and a call to service. Know that it’s not what you do, but what you bring to what you do, that matters.

6) Care deeply. As a man, you might have been taught to feel lightly and think hard, to hold your emotions back, as if you can build a dam against what naturally must flow. But your caring is what this world cries for. The tender-hearted masculine is both wise and merciful. When you weep, you give women permission to be strong. When your heart breaks we want to know it so that we can heal it together.

7) Love fearlessly. Show us the way by standing firm when we are in a beautiful rage. Don’t run from our fury—after all it might contain magical wisdom. In the gale force of feminine anger, your calm is a powerful reminder that we are met and accepted by our beloved partner.

8) Ravish your woman. Every now and then, take her wholeheartedly, without apology. Press her against a wall and bind her with your kisses. Possess your goddess, oh great god that you are, and then let her possess you. Polarity is a potent nectar and the current runs both ways.

9) Slay your demons. We all have them, the dark part of our hearts, the crevices where our fear and loathing hideout. Notice what keeps you awake at night and stalk it. Hunt your darkness and drag it into the light for loving and healing.

10) Leave your mark. Don’t settle for a fleeting cameo in which your appearance in this kingdom is so quickly forgotten. What do you want your children to say about you? Your great-grandchildren? The greatest legacy is not the wealth you leave behind, but your heartfelt message that echoes forward to future generations.

You can read the rest of the article at The Good Men Project: http://bit.ly/QTcTW4.

For my regular readers, your discernment has served you well that this is not from a Christian worldview.  But hear me in this, there is much wisdom found in this and a lot of gold that we can mine from this insight... so please don't dismiss it!  If we are to recover the masculine soul, we need all the learning we can muster and this can only be done with open minds and discerning hearts.

Think about it... what if men who loved Jesus lived up to half of this?  What would our marriages be like?  How would our children respond to their dads?  What would our neighborhoods look like?  How would men show up at work, at play?

I dare say that this world would be a much different place if THIS was what a masculine man became because we really need men like this-- in our schools, in our marketplaces, in our homes.  We need men who are unashamedly living into the strength and glory that they were designed to bear.  


Special thanks to Lisa Hickey for allowing me to repost this article from The Good Men Project and thank you Lori Ann Lothian for writing it!

Image credit: Kenn Delbridge (Flickr user Aural Asia ) http://bit.ly/Xt8Odj Used with permission in accordance with CC license

Have you ever had one of those conversations where someone says something that just seems to stick in your mind for hours and days later?

Yeah, me neither.

I'm kidding. It happens to me too.

The crazy thing is that for me it's not always the obvious thing that presses into me. It's usually the almost unnoticeable comment that suddenly permeates my heart and mind with such precision that I honestly wonder how on earth it's possible for me to stay the same.

Yeah...

Those watershed moments, those threshold moments call me forth. I stand on the precipice of something new that either I can ignore and keep life the same, familiar. Or I can lean into this newly uncovered truth with curiosity learning how to wield it like a young apprentice clumsily training a freshly acquired skill.

I've done both in life. I can honestly tell you, the latter always produces growth and freedom... though it's never easy and requires all of me.

Two weeks ago, I came across such a threshold. I was on a conference call with several of my coaching colleagues and spiritual cohorts-- Justin Williams, Michael Warden, and Tim Pynes-- conversing about the brilliance and glory that we witnessed at the most recent BraveHeart Intensive men's retreat. While we celebrated the good, the noble, the exciting, we also discussed places to look for growth and betterment. There, in that place, I heard something I've never heard before.

It seemed so small at the time, so inconsequential. But then it grew. It's echo reverberated across the landscape of my soul. It ignited the embers of my heart with possibility.

The words simple and true rang forth...


"Dave, you're the right guy with the right thing to say, right now."


It slipped right by me at first. Then, it circled back. Later in the day, it reappeared. Days later, it perturbed my mind and beckoned my heart to a new frontier.


So, I took it to my King and asked Him about it. I was curious: what did Jesus want to reveal to me about the truth if who I am? How can I more fully embrace this truth? How have I not shown up like this? I wanted to not only embrace and live from this place but to also recognized the moments that I shrink back from this truth. Both are necessary and needed for growth.


Then, I realized something even more profound: I've never been told this before! No one has ever affirmed this about my core identity. I was stunned. After 36 years of life I finally heard that my voice matters. And it doesn't just matter, it's needed!


Sure, people have granted me permission to speak but this isn't about permission. Sure, I've contributed to conversations but this isn't about contributing. This is about authority. My voice carries authority and what I was being told that day is that my voice is needed in this world.


But it's more than that too!


I'M the right guy.
I'm the right GUY.
I'm the RIGHT guy.


I matter. I'm needed.


What a paradigm shift! All my life I've been told in one way or another: "Settle down and get in line like everyone else" or "Yeah, that needed to be said but not by you" or "Next time, take the conversation offline."


Play small.
Get in line.
Follow the herd.
Keep your mouth shut.
Blend in.


"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you." (John 15:16 NIV)



Jesus chose me. And He didn't just choose me but gave me His Glory as well.


"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one." (John 17:22 NIV)



I matter to the Kingdom. You matter to the Kingdom. If Jesus chose us, how then can we play small? What good is it if we shrink back?


To clarify, this isn't a spiritual ego trip but a claim to what is most true of us as followers of Christ. We are under His Kingship and we have a role to play.


God is telling an epic story and He didn't choose worthless slaves or orphans to do the job. No. He chose sons; sons who are co-heirs with Christ. Now, live in that freedom and go reclaim His domain!






Follow my cohorts here:
Justin Williams-- twitter.com/justinthecoach
Michael Warden-- twitter.com/michaeldwarden
Tim Pynes-- twitter.com/timpynes


For more information about BraveHeart, check out the following:
Http://braveheartintensiveonline.com

All will come again into its strength:
the fields undivided, the waters undammed,
the trees towering and the walls built low.
And in the valleys, people as strong
and varied as the land.
 
And no churches where God
is imprisoned and lamented
like a trapped and wounded animal.
The houses welcoming all who knock
and a sense of boundless offering
in all relations, and in you and me.
 
No yearning for an afterlife, no looking beyond,
no belittling of death,
but only longing for what belongs to us
and serving earth, lest we remain unused.
 
Rainer Maria Rilke
II, 25 from the Book of Pilgrimage
 

This is my first EVER guest post and I'm excited to introduce to you my fellow coach, Sarah Sherwood. Sarah is a Certified Life Coach through the Institute for Life Coach Training, with specialized certifications in Wellness Coaching and Body-Mind Life Coaching™, and is certified to use the Wellness Inventory.  She is also a Licensed Massage Therapist and is in training toward the designation of Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner; a body-centered psychotherapy. Sarah works with her wide range of voice and expertise, much like that of a conductor. Passionate and insightful, she is able to draw on the various skills and gifts within her tool kit with wisdom and precision, helping her clients increase joy, creativity, and vitality in their work, relationships, and activities by supporting the cultivation of a larger container to hold their experience of life.  

You can learn more about her life and work at www.integratetolive.com.


I co-facilitate a retreat called The Destiny Project and we joke that it’s “the women’s retreat for women who don’t do women’s retreats”. There’s no recipe exchange. No cross-stitching, calorie counting or scrapbooking. No cheesy ice-breakers, bake-offs, scripture memory contests or home decorating idea swapping. There’s absolutely no “should-ing”, we are intolerant of shaming, and there’s definitely no talk about how to be a good, tame Christian woman.

It is, however, a unique and powerful opportunity, for women to open up, let go and unearth the deepest desires in their heart. The unsafe ones. The ones that might ruffle feathers and turn their worlds upside down. The ones that when found are attached to a voice that calls for a response, and the response is always something like, “I’m ALIVE!” or “I’m LOVED!” The ones that when lived out from this place of acceptance bring inner transformation and outer impact on the world.

What’s so unsettling about this process is coming face to face, not with all the things you need to change or fix about yourself, but with your glory, your beauty, your worthiness.

The Destiny Project is unleashing women who are living loved; knowing their unique God-inspired identity and fearlessly expressing their beauty to a broken world. These women are courageously daring to ask, “What if I do have a purpose? What if it matters that I fulfill it? And what if all I have to do to move toward it is take my next step?” The Destiny Project helps you, very practically, answer these questions. The combination of heart, action and a sense of belonging is what sets The Destiny Project apart from other “how-to” programs to discover your purpose. It brings life-changing results every time.

Join us September 13th-16th in Hunt, TX for the next Destiny Project. Check out this video (below) to learn more. And contact me to have a conversation to explore if this is the right next step for you in your journey.


Destiny Project from Keith Rutledge on Vimeo.

Out there, somewhere, lies a new frontier to discover.  
It's dangerous.  
It's uncharted.  
But the Wild calls to our souls in the stillness of night beckoning us to new horizons.  The Wild stirs within our hearts whispering of an unlived adventure that requires the best of who we are as we leave the comfort of what is known for the unfamiliar.
It's heroic.
It's sacrificial.
In here, somewhere, in the core of our being exists a compass that points us to our True North guiding us into a pursuit of a never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever Love. 


This is the call of Jesus.


This is not a call to safety.  This is for the wild at heart.  
This is not a call to religious piety.  This is for the spiritually barbaric.
This is not a call to play small.  This is for the truly brave.


There is no middle ground.  Once the threshold of what is known has been crossed, there is no going back to an ordinary life.  The quest, the journey has begun and it WILL take all those willing to embark outward from the fringes of complacency into the wild, scandalous places.


Jesus didn't just teach this, He modeled it.

Jesus is the guy who stood in the raging sea.
Jesus is the guy who touched disease infected people.
Jesus is the guy who dialogued with promiscuous women.
Jesus is the guy who provoked religious zealots.
Jesus is the guy who ate with crooks.
Jesus is the guy who befriended betrayers.
Jesus is the guy who drank with drunks.
Jesus is the guy who healed the hurting.
Jesus is the guy who accepted the rejected.
Jesus is the guy who hung out with the Poor, the Outcast, the Lonely, the "Not Good Enough's", the Cheats, the Theives, the Idolaters, and the Murderers.


Jesus lived on the fringes of what religion and society taught were tolerable but He didn't stop there.  He went further.  He didn't just tolerate this ragtag tribe of ragamuffins, He loved them.  And once they experienced the radical, unmerited favor of God-in-the-flesh, Jesus-- the One who looked with Divine-human eyes deep into their secret wounds, into their frailty, into their pride and unbelief-- they were never the same.


If I claim to be a follower of Jesus, the call upon my life is no less than this.  It is to run, run with wild abandon toward the fringes of what religion and our society teach are simply tolerable and, in some instances, intolerable.  With great confidence, you and I can move toward the fringes because we have One who not only showed us how but gave us His Spirit to empower us as we go.


So what's stopping us?!


Are we so extravagantly loving that those far from God are drawn to Him through our example?  Are we are so insatiably curious about those not like us that we learn their stories-- the laughing, the crying, the anger?  If not, why?  Isn't that exactly what Jesus did?  Isn't that exactly what Jesus did for you?  For me?


Jesus' call is a movement of love toward the wild, scandalous places.  A love that is sacrificial, more-than-a-feeling, never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever.  


This kind of love requires resolution and grit.


Here's where it gets real.


Who are the fringes in America today?
That single mom in your neighborhood who's sleeping around...
That couple who drinks too much...
That guy who lives alone and never talks to anyone...
That girl who likes girls and sometimes boys...
That boy who doesn't know his real dad...


The list is virtually endless but let me highlight one in particular.  The minority by far is the homosexual.  Here's what I don't understand: how come the rest of our world is having this conversation with more grace than the Church?  This shouldn't be!


How much of a minority is this fringe group?  According to The Williams Institute at UCLA, a foremost think tank on LGBT, less than 4% of the American population is gay (reference).  That ought to be exactly where we are showing up with the love and grace of Jesus.


I know.  If you're a well studied Christian, you're probably thinking, "But homosexuality is a sin!"  You're right and I'm glad we can look to Scripture to clear this up because it does say that homosexuals won't inherit the Kingdom of God.  And that's where it ends, right?  

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Corinthians 6:8-11, NIV)

That list again is... 
- The sexually immoral (um, porn anyone?)
- Idolaters (do we love anyone or anything more than Jesus?)
- Adulterers (opposite-sex lust recently? Matthew 5:27-28 will clear that up)
- Homosexuals (same-sex lust)
- Thieves
- The greedy (yikes!)
- Drunkards (UT tailgating season is coming.  I'm just sayin'...)
- Slanderers
- Swindlers (cheat on your taxes, forge a signature, or exaggerate recently?)


It sounds to me that we ALL need the beautiful message of Jesus to exonerate us from what enslaved us to set us free to live anew.  Jesus went to the fringes, into the wild, to teach those most rejected by religion and society about God's never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever Love.  But don't miss this, Jesus' grace may accept us just as we are but, out of love, He won't allow us to stay the same way that we found Him.

And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Oh, and the last I checked, having a conversation with someone wasn't condoning sin but uncovering a story, a story Jesus died for.