I was in my kitchen today doing the dishes, cleaning the stove, wiping down the countertops, and putting away the clean dishes. As I was doing this I had a thought, "How did this counter get so dirty? I have completely left it alone and no one has used this particular area. How did it get so dirty?"
I pondered that while I was spraying the Windex and wiping up the dirt and muck with my paper towel (yeah, I use Windex for everything). It then hit me; it takes no effort to get dirty but takes great effort and intentionality to get clean.
I wondered... does this have a broader implication? Could my experience with my kitchen counter have a transferable conclusion for other areas of life-- i.e. relational & spiritual?
So I chased the rabbit trail in my head.
If I did nothing in my life to pursue purity of relationships nor did I persist to make peace with some of the discord and brokenness with people in my life, it would all just fall apart. I would drift from them. They would get embittered. We would make assumptions about one another with each of us being "right" but neither of us righting ourselves for the other.
This is important.
I can only make myself right with them. I must adjust. It is my responsibility not theirs. I must make the first move. I have to be purposeful with their best interest in mind. I must learn what makes them feel loved and then do it. I must humble myself to admit as much as I can and own my crap... then apologize for how I have wronged them. If I wait for others to do this, it just may never happen.
Why?
Because dirt happens all by itself without any effort. It takes intentionality to live clean with others. Why me first? Because Jesus told me that as His follower, I must be willing to make that first move, to pursue peace at all costs.
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (Romans 12:17-18, NIV)
I must do my part... which is to live at peace with some people. Definitely not the people I dislike or who hurt me, right? That's what it says... right?
Not quite.
Everyone. Last I looked, everyone meant... everyone. Can I just be honest? That sucks. Yeah, that sucks because it's hard and that means that I can't hold grievances against anyone. I may have to get over myself. Heck, it even says that I can't strike back. I can't even give someone else hell who has hurt me-- "Do not repay anyone evil for evil."
What is up with that? How come I have to take it? Why can't I just give them a jab?
Then I think, "What then is the response?" Forgive. That's a cheap answer. The right answer but it just seems to lack substance when someone continues to hurt me. So how do I deal with it?
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:12-14, NIV)
There it is. The whole thing is pretty good but did you catch it? Right there in the middle. Did you see it? Why must I forgive? "Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
Dang.
So, I think to myself, "What were to happen if God one day just gave up forgiving me? What if at some point He just looked at me and said, 'Dude, you've exhausted my ability to forgive. I just can't do it any longer. I know that I said that I would always forgive you but you just keep ending up in the same place... so I am calling it quits'."
Now, I know that God doesn't "give up" on forgiving me because then there would be no such thing as grace. Grace allows for failure and sin though it does not condone either. God's own mercy withholds His justice so that grace can cover over my wrongdoing towards others and toward God. In His love He forgives me not because I deserve it but because Jesus already paid for it. That's crucial. I can be forgiven because what Jesus did on the cross counts for me because I now trust in Him. God forgives me because Jesus died for me and I trust in Jesus.
So what role do I play in all of this?
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." (James 5:16, NIV)
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9, NIV)
Cleaning up takes intentionality, purpose, effort, hard work... it doesn't just happen. It requires humility (which is hard) and owning our own crap (which is hard).
Of course, this is not formulaic. Meaning, just because we humble ourselves plus own our crap plus ask for forgiveness it does not equal the other person reciprocating our good intentions. However, we should never tire of leading the healing process. As Christ-followers, we ought to engage with a passionate fervor to seek out peace with others at all costs. Isn't that what God did for us? He sought peace with us at the cost of His own son's life. Jesus died so that we could have peace with God.
"For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in [Jesus], and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross." (Colossians 1:19-20, NIV)
We ought to pursue peace in the same way with the people in our lives. This is a heart issue. Your heart, my heart becomes a little bit hardened every time we withhold forgiveness, withhold seeking peace. Conversely, we remain pliable and attentive to God's Spirit and His promptings when we boldly and humbly seek out with intentionality clean living and peace with others.
Dirt happens. It takes no effort at all. As lovers of Jesus, may we be a people who passionately pursue peace and clean living with the people in our lives so that they may see Jesus in us.
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composed by
dave
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