Let me say that a different way...

It's reasonable to conclude that my perception of Jesus is diminished in relation to the grandeur of who He truly is and who I experience Him to be in my life.

Allow me to explain.

I hear of stories from across the globe of a Jesus who doesn't mind rubbing shoulders with and living amongst transcendental meditationists, converses with spiritualists who practice alchemaic healings, and suffers at the hands of tyrannical extremists.

I want that Jesus.

I hear of stories from across this nation of a Jesus who ditches funerals to go have a drink (yeah, the alcoholic kind) with a mourning brother, leaves cushy jobs-- comfortable lives-- doing "ministry" or otherwise, and pursues the Musings of the Spirit on a wild goose chase into the wild.

I want that Jesus.

I hear of stories from across Austin of a Jesus who hugs homeless guys who reek of booze and excrement, hangs out regularly with a GLBT tribe, and lives among the most spiritually wandering souls to ever walk this City.

I. Want. That. Jesus... because that is a big Jesus; that is a big God.

This Jesus seems to be okay living in the tension of who He is and who those are that surround Him.  He is not agitated by the undone-ness that surrounds Him; He is steadfast though His heart breaks.  He is not swayed by the admonishment of crafty arguments but responds with a love that neutralizes pretense and engages the heart calling it forth to more.  He is willing to get dirty- be mislabeled- because the people He serves are vessels of Light covered in the muck and mire of this life.

See, it's possible that I've been deceived into thinking that Jesus is confined into some big production ritual that occurs once a week, has no interest in those different than Himself, and who is defined by a religious structure that bears some resemblance to His name.

But then I read Scripture.  

And I hear of Jesus doing exactly the opposite of all of that... religiosity; He is defying expectations.  And I hear of Jesus conversing regularly with those who deny His Deity with a love that is tender yet provoking.  And I hear of Jesus pouring His life into a few so that they too can take bold risks of Faith to do everything He has done.  And I hear of a Jesus who treats all those who encounter Him as family-- as dearly loved brothers and sisters-- regardless of their faith background or personal story.

And I ask myself, "Is this true of me?  How big is my Jesus?"

I think some days my Jesus is too small.