That's a loaded title, isn't it? Since this is my online journal, and keeping true to that statement, this post deals with what I am learning about loving others.
I have come to the realization over the past several months that I REALLY suck at truely showing other people love. What I mean is that I am a self-addicted person that uses love like currency. To the people that I love, I invest in them and shower them with loving, life-giving words and actions. I pay them "love money" because I like them. The opposite is true of people that bother me. In fact, I came to this realization while driving from Dallas to Austin and listening to Blue Like Jazz (audio books and podcasts are awesome!). In Donald Miller's book, he addresses this issue and even though I had heard him dialogue on this previously, it never really sank in until I took a good look inward to see the ugly truth that I suffer in this area of my life.
Of course, I have come to see this more and more in myself since this realization. I prayed that Jesus would help me in this area of my life and that he would expose the areas that need to change through His Spirit. WELL, be careful what you ask for in prayer! Not only have I found that my generosity of love is lacking but that mercy and grace are tied to love very closely.
Let me give you a "for instance." Recently, I have been dealing with a couple of people that are good, generous people that love me and I love them. When we engage in conversations, I constantly find myself reacting very rashly and annoyed and I tend to respond harshly. In fact, I have even had them offer themselves freely to help me and I react like they just killed my dog (I don't actually have a dog). I could not understand why I would act this way. Jesus tells us that we should not only love our friends, family and coworkers, but that we should love our enemies. So why do I have a problem with extending love and grace with mercy to others? Why can't I seem to love well?
This whole thing is tearing me up! I want to react with love but react with sarcasm. I want to react with understanding and patience but react with disdain and disgust. I want to react with mercy and grace but just get annoyed and bitter. What I want to do, I don't do. What I don't want to do, I do. Why? War. I have a war in my heart battling for supremacy. When I asked the Spirit to reveal my "love weaknesses" and asked for help, the war got real. The Spirit immediately started a good thing in me by jacking up my desire to love others more but the enemy was not willing to give up his ground. So my awareness of my lack of love started to become VERY apparent. The good news to all of this is that I know now when I react poorly and when I react more inline with loving others. That can also be a bit frustrating.
Sidenote: This "love thing" is not some passive, "door mat" type of apathy. No way! This love that I am talking about is a reflection of how Christ loves me and my ability to allow Him to love through me to others. This means that truth needs to be told to people that need to hear it but told to them in love. If truth is told to others without love it comes across as judgmental and condemning and that doesn't do any one any good. Likewise, extending loving grace to others with no truth can cause a numbing acceptance of ungodliness. Therefore, a healthy balance of tension must exist between love and grace and HOW to use these gifts must come from discernment through the Spirit.
Back to me (remember, I am addicted to me).
So, I have hope! I know that this change in my heart will make me a better person. I know that this good work that is started in me will result in more people being loved by Jesus through me. I know that God is love and that loving others is showing them God. I know that if I choose to be a blessing to others by loving them that I will be bringing a piece of Heaven to Earth. I know that my world is broken and that showing more love will help it heal.
I have come to the realization over the past several months that I REALLY suck at truely showing other people love. What I mean is that I am a self-addicted person that uses love like currency. To the people that I love, I invest in them and shower them with loving, life-giving words and actions. I pay them "love money" because I like them. The opposite is true of people that bother me. In fact, I came to this realization while driving from Dallas to Austin and listening to Blue Like Jazz (audio books and podcasts are awesome!). In Donald Miller's book, he addresses this issue and even though I had heard him dialogue on this previously, it never really sank in until I took a good look inward to see the ugly truth that I suffer in this area of my life.
Of course, I have come to see this more and more in myself since this realization. I prayed that Jesus would help me in this area of my life and that he would expose the areas that need to change through His Spirit. WELL, be careful what you ask for in prayer! Not only have I found that my generosity of love is lacking but that mercy and grace are tied to love very closely.
Let me give you a "for instance." Recently, I have been dealing with a couple of people that are good, generous people that love me and I love them. When we engage in conversations, I constantly find myself reacting very rashly and annoyed and I tend to respond harshly. In fact, I have even had them offer themselves freely to help me and I react like they just killed my dog (I don't actually have a dog). I could not understand why I would act this way. Jesus tells us that we should not only love our friends, family and coworkers, but that we should love our enemies. So why do I have a problem with extending love and grace with mercy to others? Why can't I seem to love well?
This whole thing is tearing me up! I want to react with love but react with sarcasm. I want to react with understanding and patience but react with disdain and disgust. I want to react with mercy and grace but just get annoyed and bitter. What I want to do, I don't do. What I don't want to do, I do. Why? War. I have a war in my heart battling for supremacy. When I asked the Spirit to reveal my "love weaknesses" and asked for help, the war got real. The Spirit immediately started a good thing in me by jacking up my desire to love others more but the enemy was not willing to give up his ground. So my awareness of my lack of love started to become VERY apparent. The good news to all of this is that I know now when I react poorly and when I react more inline with loving others. That can also be a bit frustrating.
Sidenote: This "love thing" is not some passive, "door mat" type of apathy. No way! This love that I am talking about is a reflection of how Christ loves me and my ability to allow Him to love through me to others. This means that truth needs to be told to people that need to hear it but told to them in love. If truth is told to others without love it comes across as judgmental and condemning and that doesn't do any one any good. Likewise, extending loving grace to others with no truth can cause a numbing acceptance of ungodliness. Therefore, a healthy balance of tension must exist between love and grace and HOW to use these gifts must come from discernment through the Spirit.
Back to me (remember, I am addicted to me).
So, I have hope! I know that this change in my heart will make me a better person. I know that this good work that is started in me will result in more people being loved by Jesus through me. I know that God is love and that loving others is showing them God. I know that if I choose to be a blessing to others by loving them that I will be bringing a piece of Heaven to Earth. I know that my world is broken and that showing more love will help it heal.
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composed by
dave
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